Hi,
My mom was diagnosed this past summer with Type 2 diabetes. She is 60, and has been in denial for a while. She refuses to say diabetes and just says "my blood sugar problem". My brothers and I have stepped back and let her do her thing, as when we first tried to help her it was not well receiv
The behavior very much sounds like the early stages of dementia with my grandmother who was in her 60s at the time.
I had not thought of that, I will look into that as a possible issue as well. Thanks
Agreed.
I don't know if you can contact her doctor and tell them about it, but other than that there might not be anything you can do. You might try contacting her local agency on aging and see if you can talk to a social worker. They might have ways for you to help her and guide you in doing so.
There can be many reasons for her current behavior, including diabetes, UTI, medication side effects and others. Only a doctor can determine the cause, though.
This is perfect advice. I had to form a support system for my elderly diabetic noncompliant mother. I got doctors involved, assisted living facility staffed involved, the state medicaid caseworker involved. Its a hit fly with hammer situation. Go all out. But remember in the end, she has to be willing to receive help. Word of advice, get medical power of attorney sooner than later.
In her current state of mind, she might not be willing to give POA. If that's the case, the nuclear option would to see if the doctor could declare her incompetent and one of the children can become the mother's guardian. That's an extremely difficult and painful process, though.
If she’s not willing, that’s something you’ll have to revisit down the road. My mother was being hospitalized multiple times with blood sugars over 800 and breathing issues. I had to get POA. It was too much to handle without it. But getting medical professionals and caseworkers involved certainly does help.
UTI is a good guess! Diabetics are more prone to UTIs and when you're older, it can manifest in symptoms like this. She might not even know she has one.
Thanks, I'll look into that
Is she living alone? Can anyone start checking on her?
She is living alone, but we do have some aunts and uncles who we could ask to look in on her
I am sorry you're going through this with your mom. It can be very challenging emotionally and practically to help in these situations when the person really doesn't want help for what ever reason.
I would guess that your mom has more than one health condition contributing to her observed symptoms. But very uncontrolled blood sugar levels, leading up to a DKA (diabetic ketoacidosis) episode can have cognitive and emotional impacts.
When I went into the hospital with DKA in August and when I got my T2 diagnosis, some of tests they put me under were on cognitive and memory abilities. My wife was also telling my afterwards when I was back home that prior I was not acting like myself.
The problem is getting your mom to help herself as you can't really force her into treatment.
My s
Thank you for this
If her blood sugar remains at the level where a doctor wanted to admit her, she is at risk for DKA (Diabetic Ketoacidosis) or HHS (Hyperglycemic Hyperosmolar State). Both are life-threatening emergencies that cause extreme confusion, vomiting, and eventual coma. I don't know her but maybe talk to her and tell her how concerned you are, you love her and are scared because of the distance between you and want to know she is getting the care she needs. I had a similar instance with my Mother years ago, but with cancer treatment and taking too many pain meds along with not properly treating her diabetes - she wouldn't answer the door for her care workers or her neighbours (who called me concerned because she was also driving and swerving everywhere) and started to ignore her Dr and wouldn't li
Thank you, I'm glad you were able to help your mom. We may consider a similar approach if it comes to it.
So honestly this sounds like the exact same list that had me getting the family friend I cared for in to be evaluated for dementia.
He was diagnosed with frontotemporal dementia and within a year was basically unable to do anything for himself. So it can move fast.
I highly recommend getting her in to see a neurologist for evaluation asap.
Thanks, this really made me realize we may be fighting time more than I had previously thought
I'm not ruling out other problems (and that high of a blood sugar is alarming), but many of those things you listed could be how one would react to a hearing loss. So if you're able to talk to her, might want to ask about that.
I had not considered this, thank you
If her blood sugar is really high, it can cause atrophy of blood vessels in the brain. Or it could simply be that she's so shell-shocked by her diagnosis that it's affecting her behavior.
Talking to my mom about her health had the same results as talking to a tree and asking it to grow more towards the back of the yard.
You might try to see if there is some local counseling available. Many health plans will pay for some basic diabetes education. That might be an easier sell than trying to get her to change her diet and take medication.
Thanks, I'll look into to counseling options as well
This sounds like a cognition issue, not a diabetes issue. Many of these are symptoms of dementia.
Extremely high blood sugar causes cognitive issues, especially in older people. She’ll need medical intervention to diagnose.
As do UTIs in older people. She needs to see her primary for an evaluation for these things
My 62 year old brother just had his foot amputated because he was in denial. Hopefully she learns from his mistake...
Wow what!!!! I am 60f and currently diabetic. It is good that you worry about her but she is the only person who can decide what to eat/exercise to get her diabetes under control. I understand you and your siblings being worried and wanting an action plan to help. At my age if my kids took action and determined my food intake etc. I would be real angry even if it comes from the hearth. IMO the best you can do is tell her how YOU feel about her health and let it go. She has to choose the road she wants to take. I have been diabetic for 10 years and did nothing about it. Since September I decided to take care of myself. I was not ready before. My father was t2 and did nothing about it except cheat over and over again and did not measure his BS unless he was sure the number
This is an interesting perspective, thanks